Too 'dark' to sleep...

Mike and I stopped by Target a few weeks back to pick up a jar of cayenne pepper which we could not wait to open; and so we didn't even try. Mike promptly unscrewed the cap and ripped off the plastic-coated paper safety seal and handed the first piece to me. I was on the phone at the time and simply responded in obedience when Mike said "try it". I put it to my tongue and immediately regretted what I had done. I finished my phone call through "whistle" lips as I was trying to keep the winter air flowing over my tongue in my futile attempt at relief. I was starting a new heart healthy regime as suggested through a podcast I had heard the previous week; it sounded to me that cayenne pepper was so amazing it could raise the dead. One teaspoon administered during a heart attack will stop the attack immediately, it is also good for strokes. So... I am thinking, if it's good while you are having a heart attack, it must be better without one. We arrived home, but I was quickly revamping my strategy. I am not ACTUALLY having a heart attack, so 1/2 teaspoon should be good enough. I looked through the fridge to find the delivery system I should like to use and my eyes landed on my favorite cottage cheese. With some apprehension THIS time, the 1/2 teaspoon of pepper was piled onto the first spoonful. I would like to get this out of the way immediately, then cool my system with the remaining cottage cheese. I brought the first bite to my opened mouth and took a deep breath for courage, the cayenne pepper was aerasolized into my mouth and throat and I began to burn! If I turn back now... I can't turn back... I pulled this bite into my mouth and held it while I contemplated how best to force my body to take it in. Pushing it to the back of my mouth I swallowed hard only to realize then, that I had in fact made a pepper paste which stuck solidly to the roof of my mouth. Pulling my tongue repeatedly over the paste did nothing to remove it or alleviate the burning, so I reached into my mouth with my first two fingers and manually scraped it off and swallowed it in chunks. I searched through the kitchen to find something better for the burning and grabbed a banana which I held to my lips between bites. I was in pain. I chased my "meal" with a large gulp of maalox and called it a day.

I guess I won't be making this a regular routine, maybe I will carry the pepper with me for emergencies only... or perhaps I will drink my coffee with one low-dose aspirin?